


It's Mutual

by Exquisiteliltart



Category: Dead To Me (TV)
Genre: F/F, Jen's POV, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Porn Film
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:01:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29213091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Exquisiteliltart/pseuds/Exquisiteliltart
Summary: Jen and Judy unintentionally watch a very steamy movie that puts them both in the mood, and decide to get off really quick separately but together and never speak of it again, except neither of them is very good at keeping secrets and they don't really want to.
Relationships: Judy Hale/Jen Harding
Comments: 8
Kudos: 78





	1. No biggie

Jen was sitting up in bed staring blankly at the TV as the credits rolled on the film—nay porno—that she and Judy had just watched.

"Wow, that movie was really...hot." Judy mock fanned herself, and Jen looked at her and could instantly tell she was uncomfortable. Hell, Jen was uncomfortable and she was a middle-aged woman. She shouldn't feel _embarrassed_ by watching a fucking movie.

A beat passed.

Jen agreed that the movie was really sexy. Jaw-droppingly so. It was really _arousing_ if she was honest with herself.

Another moment passed.

Jen wasn't sure what to say. The film that had just transpired wasn't like the thoughtful documentaries that Judy sometimes made her watch, and afterwards the two discussed the delicate cultural and social issues of female genital mutilation or whatever topics at length over wine.

 _This_ movie (if you wanted to call it that) didn't really have a lot of high points or cultural significance for discussion.

Jen cleared her throat several times.

"Uh, so what was that rated anyway?" She finally found her voice after wetting her mouth that had mysteriously gone dry by guzzling some wine.

"I'm not sure? It was something random on _Cinemax_ ," Judy glanced at her with a slightly worried expression from her side of the bed. "You should really check the parental controls on the Dish."

"Yip," Jen drained the rest of the liquid in her wine glass, as she hit the power button and turned off the TV. The room went dark and yet another heavy wave of silence fell over the two women. They both stared forward at the now blank screen in obvious discomfort.

It seemed the boys were gone on the weekends more and more frequently as of late, and Jen had come to think of Friday and Saturday nights as her "date" nights with Judy. See, Jen's social circle had shrunk while her kids' was ever-expanding. Ted had always been the social one and when he died she hadn't really cared to keep up the couples friendships they had always maintained. Those friendships were superficial and Jen found the dinners and game nights an exhausting chore if she was honest.

Her boys were having the time of their youth, and she was glad for that. Though a little pained as she missed the closeness of their dependence on her.

But her sons were off with friends at sleepovers or Boy Scout retreats, sporting camps, their grandmother's house—something always came up. It felt bittersweet for Jen, because on one hand her boys weren't little anymore, but on the other— she had Judy. She always really looked forward to uninterrupted time with her. She could truly be herself, no pretense, no judgment, (no wine limit.) Weekends were now spent unwinding with Judy and that was a wonderful thing.

It had become a Friday night ritual: dinner, wine, movies. On Saturdays they'd sleep in, exercise, run errands, clean, and maybe even go out to eat and dancing in the evening. It was mundane and normal, but it was also _everything_ since _A)_ Jen wasn't alone and _B)_ Judy was so much fun to be around. It was like a constant self-esteem boost.

Except for this Friday night that had decidedly taken a bit of a dark and sexual detour.

The usual movie selection was something in the vein of Adam Sandler filmography (not the _Punch Drunk Hidden Gem_ drama movies -the earlier stupid humor stuff.) Jen didn't mind that Judy chatted non-stop over the dialogue; they'd just laugh and drink.

Not tonight, _no sir, nope,_ this was not _Happy Gilmore_ territory.

Jen briefly wondered if Judy had played this sex-filled plotless movie just to get a reaction, but she'd seen her friend aimlessly flipping through the guide with nonchalance. Once the movie started neither of them could look away, it was like a full-frontal titty-bouncing train wreck.

Judy smacked her lips rather loudly and yawned drawing Jen's attention and breaking the utter and awkward silence. Then she said with hesitancy, "so I think I'm gonna go back to _my room_ and turn in for the night."

Jen narrowed her eyes in suspicion and a horrible panicked/gnawing feeling hit straight to her gut. She fought the urge to literally whine at Judy like a child not getting a toy at the store.

"Wait, wait, huh. What? Why?"

 _It was Friday._ The boys were gone and Judy _always_ stayed over in the main house and slept in Jen's bed in these circumstances. It was like their special close female-bond thing.

"Uh, just 'cause..." Judy trailed off and faced away from Jen. It was obvious she was trying to think of an excuse. _Fuck, what had Jen done now to repulse her best friend?_ Maybe she drank a little bit too much, but no more than usual. Self doubts were flooding in.

Jen sat up straighter and took in Judy's form in the dim light. She was practically squirming under the blankets and stroking at her clavicle out of nervousness. Jen started to snap.

"Oh, Jesus Judy, just be honest. No more lies, remember?"

"You don't feel safe alone here, do you? I'm sorry," Judy stilled her movement and her eyes shifted instantly as she looked at her and bit her lip in apology.

"No, no...I just _want you_ here," Jen took a breath. It was always hard for her to admit her vulnerabilities, but she always did with Judy. Only her. That was part of why this was starting to feel like a rejection.

"Yeah, you're right. No lies," Judy appeared to steel herself for some sort of awkward admission.

"That movie just got to me, you know? I got a Brazilian wax today and everything is soft and smooth um... _throbbing_ down there. I honestly need to take care of business and I thought maybe you'd want a little privacy to do that too."

"Oh, shitiittttt," Jen drew out the "t" unable to further verbalize. She wasn't expecting that sort of admission. She thought perhaps she'd rather Judy have told her that she just wanted some space or something. Fuck. Jen weighed her response options carefully. "Um, well, I mean that's a relief. I thought you were gonna tell me you were _mad_ at me." She forced a chuckle that was far too loud.

"No, of course not. You know I cherish our time together." Judy put a hand out and then thought better of it and snatched it back to her chest.

Jen knew she had to lighten the mood. "So you just want to double-click your mouse?"

"Yeah...lay down some old school scratches on the turntable."

They both laughed. The problem was not resolved. The silence resumed. Judy didn't leave, but it was like she had one foot out the door.

Jen looked up at the ceiling, and then rubbed at her eye. The graphic and explicit sexual images from that damned movie wouldn't stop flashing in her mind's eye. If she was honest, she was quite worked up herself. She had her thighs clenched together like a vice grip, but she had self-control. She could fight the urge to masturbate while she was sharing a bed with Judy. Except it was now coupled with Judy's additional visual picture about the smooth-all-over wax and the _throbbing_. God, at least she didn't use the word _engorged_. Jen hated that word.

"Let's not be awkward."

"No, never," Judy gestured with finality like she was pushing the awkward energy away from both of them.

"In truth, that movie did leave a _physical_ impression on me as well," Jen wanted to puke as she said it, but she didn't want Judy to feel alone. Judy always had her admitting to something.

"Okay, so... you _do_ want me to leave?" Judy asked quietly, but Jen knew Judy well, and the tone she was using was the one where she really wasn't asking what she was _asking._

"No, I really don't want you to leave," Jen said clearly because she knew Judy needed to hear it plainly. They were in sync like that.

"Mmm...remember that one part where the woman had her legs wrapped around the guy's head and then the camera like flipped and she wasn't on a bed, but up against a wall and the guy was like holding her up on his shoulder's and eating her pussy at the same time?" Judy asked as if Jen didn't remember vividly.

"Ha, plot twist!"

"It really was because when I lay down my boobs like fall into my arm pits, but hers were like so...round."

"Nipples too... very _circular_ ," Jen agreed.

"Always hard, through the whole film, even that time on the beach," Judy remarked her voice was beginning to sound raspy. "Actresses...she was _very_ convincing."

"I could never be on film having sex," Jen mused. "Ted wanted to film us once. I flipped my shit. Now I kind of wish we would have. I'd probably watch it and cry."

"Oh, honey, you're so beautiful," Judy smiled and touched her arm. "I'd watch it with you...for support."

"I'll bet. Yeah, that ship has passed." Jen shrugged the thought away, and the thought of the perfect pair of tits with the circular nipples were back in her mind...and then she dared to wonder what exactly Judy's body looked like splayed out naked?

Maybe Judy should just get out of there and go to the guest house for the night before any more awkward _Brazillian_ energy leaked in like carbon monoxide. There was only so much thigh clenching that Jen could do to stave off her fucking intense need. Damn, Judy kept piquing her curiosity with all her offhand comments. Boobs in her armpits? Doubtful.

Judy cleared her throat. Jen braced herself for whatever was next. They were both being so quiet compared to how they usually acted together.

"You know Steve's college frat buddies once were over hanging out, and they said they used to watch porn together all the time. Crazy, right?" Judy made an obscene hand gesture. Jen was repulsed and skeptical. "Jerk off right in front of each other too. Like it was no biggie. Like all the time. They bragged about it."

Judy shrugged and placed her hands in her lap and then faced the opposite wall from Jen.

 _Fuck the what did she just imply? Gross about the frat guys, but the whole best friends watching porn and then getting off together?... oh, fuckity fuck._ A full fucking body shiver ran down Jen's body and hit her core hard. She was already wet, but now she was on fire too. She blinked 50 times rapidly in succession and laughed falsely.

"Did they?" Jen tried to play it off, but when she spoke her voice was a strained rasp.

"I can be quick," Judy looked at her with a very serious expression. "And quiet, but I'll only do it if you do it cause otherwise... well, that would be _weird_."

 _That would be weird?_ Jen stared back at her feeling very uneasy and uncertain, mainly because her body was really, really into this idea, but her mind was screaming that this was too much and she was thinking about doing something very, very bad.

"Jen? Are you okay? No? Oh, shit. I fucked up. Forget I brought it up."

Judy looked very upset. That escalated quickly. Jen had to reassure her and do something. She couldn't believe what came out of her mouth.

"No—no, I'm fine...very good actually...um.. so...this would be a one time thing, okay? We're _never_ going to talk about it again afterwards, promise?"

"Really, you want to? I don't want to push it." Judy's mood sure switched in a hurry.

Jen licked her lips, and considered the ache that had been building since the opening credits of the movie, and Judy's offer was a window just waiting to be slammed shut if she didn't jump through it.

She didn't know why she agreed, but fuck it.

"Oh, I want to, that movie had a strong affect— trust me."

"Right? The scene where she's locked in the jail cell and then the lady Sheriff comes in and _she_ ends up getting seduced and handcuffed to the bars, and then she slowly unbuttons her uniform and fucks her and then steals it to impersonate her... multiple felonies committed, but fuck..." Judy trailed off and let out a soft gasp.

Jen turned her head. Judy had her hand under the covers and it looked distinctly like it was shoved between her legs. Fuck, Jen hadn't even finished laying out the ground rules of this little forbidden dalliance!

"Judy? You already started didn't you?"

"Uh, sorry." Judy sure didn't sound sorry. She sounded like she was in ecstasy, and Jen wanted that too. Bad.


	2. Onward

Jen settled down onto her back and stole a glance at Judy only to wish she hadn't. She couldn't look away at the erotic sight of her hand working circles under the blanket between her legs. Her eyes were closed, but her mouth was slightly open and fuck if it wasn't the hottest thing—and then Judy's eyes popped open and caught her gawking lustfully.

"Fuck, Judy. Don't look at me!" Jen closed her eyes, feeling incredibly embarrassed, but her right hand slipped far too easily beneath the waistband of her sweatpants and found her soaking wet— _yes, throbbing_ (fuck)—pussy."

"You were looking at me!" Judy called her out. "That's okay because I feel fucking amazing." Then Judy proceeded to softly moan and coo like a fucking sex angel-nay fairy-inches away.

Jen's masturbation experience was slightly different, it felt good, right— because when doesn't rubbing her clit feel good, but damn, she was holding her breath, biting her knuckle on her left hand, thrusting a bit out of rhythm like a dog scooting it's ass on the carpet, dying from desire, and her upper lip was working up a salty sweat. She had never felt so unsexy and hot simultaneously.

Though both women combined were barely topping 200lbs the bedframe was squeaking just a little bit at their exuberance, and Judy's damn artist-strong arm was now touching Jen's shoulder. She could feel every movement. It was really intimate.

Judy was correct though, she was quick, and when Jen heard—and felt —Judy's hips and hands speed up, breath quicken in the quiet of the bedroom, well, that just made Jen cum hard through a gasp as she pushed the heel of her hand against her clit and rode out the aftershocks of her orgasm through gritted teeth.

When she finally pulled her hand out of her pants she caught a whiff of her pussy and frowned. She thought she smelled like sour grapes, and figured she was going too hard on the wine combined with dehydration.

She didn't have time to contemplate that for long. Judy slinked up next to her, close as can be, threw her arm and leg over Jen's body, nuzzled up and sighed in contentment.

"That was beautiful. Fucking sexy." Judy mumbled as she planted a hot kiss on Jen's neck and promptly fell asleep.

 _Shameful_ was more the word choice that came to Jen's mind. She was wide awake overly sensitive to Judy and feeling some post-orgasmic regret at what they had just done. Some boundaries aren't really meant to be crossed with your bestie. Jen justified that it was a _one time thing_ and they were just going to forget about their horned up lapse in judgment come morning.

Except... Jen couldn't really forget about masturbating with Judy now that it had happened, _how could she?_

She finally got to sleep, but the sun came up early, and when she woke up it was already 8:30 and Judy had slipped away. Disappointment overwhelmed Jen when she found herself alone in bed, but she stamped the feeling down and remembered that this Saturday morning she had work responsibilities and couldn't dwell on her stupid fucking feelings.

She showered, dressed and came to the kitchen for coffee. There was Judy looking like a snack in a bright and outstanding mood. Sure enough she was pushing a plate full of frittata and a cup of coffee toward her at the counter.

"Good morning, I didn't want to wake you— you looked so peaceful."

"Thanks," Jen swigged down the coffee and scooted forward on her stool, unable to shake the feeling of like she was bare and exposed in front of her friend. Though she kept telling herself nothing had changed; Judy was acting like it was a normal day.

"Is the plan still on?" Judy was rubbing her hands together as she rounded the counter to sit next to Jen and eat breakfast with her.

"Hmm?" Jen had completely blanked out on whatever plans had been made. She knew she had an open house in Huntington Beach to host, but beyond that she must have spaced out on something.

"You were going to drop me off at the beach while you do your open house and then we were going to get lunch and window shop," Judy reminded her, and that plan, yes, was still a go. "I packed your swimsuit and an extra towel in case you feel like getting some sun after the open house, but I'm sure you'll be hungry and tired after work, but just in case."

Right, those plans to spend the entire day together after what they did last night. No distance, no time, no space apart from one another. This was what Jen had signed up for.

It turned out _A)_ Judy makes an amazing frittata _B)_ everything was fine, normal, the usual banter and flirting. No mentions of what would forever be known as "that movie" or the friendly mutual masturbation from the night before. Best of all point _C)_ Jen needed to find that round-breasted actress and thank her personally because Jen was in a great mood herself after getting off, and apparently giving off some great vibes to the potential buyers at the open house. She already had three fucking offers within an hour.

Lorna had told her on occasion that her personality was off putting and Judy had told Jen that she needed to learn to love herself more. Apparently, loving herself more in the literal sense had improved her personality because it was doing wonders for her sales skills.

Jen was on cloud 9 by the time she picked Judy up from the beach, but hadn't expected to see her friend walk up to the car still in a black mesh bikini that made Jen almost forget to brake. They surely didn't need any more freaking car accidents. Her insurance was already on high alert. She watched Judy stand at the open car window and wrestle herself into her wispy sundress and the dirty, naughty thoughts started coming back full force. Jen was starting to think "the movie" had just been the spark that ignited a much bigger wild fire.

The thing was that Jen wanted to do _that thing_ with Judy again as shameful as it was.

She couldn't ask her.

_Hi, Judy, Hi, so I know we just did it, but want to rub our pussies next to each other again—with feeling?_

Jen was the one who insisted on it being a _one time_ , never speak of this moment again event. That way of thinking always did get her into more trouble than she bargained for. She should learn her lesson.

When they got home from lunch and shopping, Jen spend an inordinate amount of time sitting crossed legged on her bed and googling secretly sexy movies in hopes that maybe she could recreate the conditions and get Judy in her bed and turned on again. Had Judy ever seen _Bound_?

It was a bit deceitful, but perhaps the only way she could segue into satisfying the burning desire she suddenly had to fuck herself next to her friend. Judy was the one who had originally suggested it. Jen wondered if the thing about the college friends of Steve's was even true.

Jen chickened out of course, waffling on presenting Judy with another movie so soon, her illicit intentions would be transparent. She couldn't find anything good anyway— scratch, there was nothing that was going to top "that movie" so she might as well give up and resign herself to solitary masturbation like a normal person.

It had been a long day anyway, the drive to Huntington Beach and being "on" for the open house had worn her out. Plus seeing Judy's cute tummy in that swimsuit had really fucked up her mind. She was up the half the night stressing about one measly shared orgasm session so it was understandable she was in need of a nap.

She couldn't really sleep though because of sudden resurgence of the aforementioned loin-fire she was experiencing courtesy of the event which she was never supposed to think about, but could not stop obsessing over. She could only Peloton-pedal away her sexual needs for so long before it caught up with her, damn it, (and the bike was stationary!)

Yet again... _solo masturbation is just fine_. _Normal. American_. It was stupid she had to remind herself of that as her greedy hand went downtown to just get it over with already so she could nap. So what if her mind replayed the night before in technicolor—each sound Judy made and the vibration of the bed and arms softly knocking against one another's. _This was working, this was going so well, just great—_

"Hey, Jen— oh, are you sleeping?" Judy popped in because everyone loved to startle Jen at inopportune moments. _Fuck, fuck, caught in the goddamn act._ No privacy.

"Ahh, ahh hmmm, yes, I'm sound asleep..." Jen huffed letting out the breath she had been holding. She had to stop doing that, she'd give herself an aneurysm.

As inconspicuously as possible she pulled her hand out of her crotch, wiped her fingers on the sheets and turned over to face the other side of the bed. Bad move.

"I'll join you," Judy bounced over, drew the curtains and crawled right on in bed. She offered up a cute little yawn and nestled her butt right up in next to Jen. "I got a lot of sun today at the beach. Pretty tired."

_Oh boy. The torture was excruciating._

"Mmm," Jen mustered. She gulped and closed her eyes, willing herself to not think about how she was half-way to orgasm... Three-quarters way to an orgasm...and now she was just...cuddled up against her warm, soft best friend whose hair smelled really quite lovely and was tickling her neck in a really erotic way.

"Hey Jen, you the know "the movie"?"

"How could I forget?"

"Did you think it was odd that the main lady was a trauma surgeon at the beginning?"

"I think they were trying to show she was good with her hands—and she had a lot of stamina," Jen mused.

"Good point. Funny that I was thinking it was going to be a drama about a doctor right up until she offered to blow the guy she had just operated on," Judy wriggled in bed to get comfortable.

"No, she didn't offer to blow him. She asked if there was anything she could do to make his recovery more pleasant, and he said that a blow job would _help_ ," Jen corrected as it seemed she had every frame of the damned movie burned into her mind.

"Oh yeah...very unethical."

"She was willing to go the extra mile for her patients."

"Well...that's one way to look at it, Jen."

"Go to sleep, Judy. And stop talking about the movie."

The rest of the day went without incident. Jen had a productive nap and Judy got up after a bit and cooked a nice dinner for the two of them since the boys were still away. Candles and appetizers to celebrate Jen's open house success over in Huntington Beach. (They had already done that by going to lunch, but any excuse to celebrate was welcome in Jen's opinion.) She'd never turn down Judy's homemade alfredo and tiramisu.

It was downright romantic. Jen had stuffed herself with garlic bread and alfredo, and was sad she didn't have room for dessert. Judy simply suggested that they "take dessert upstairs" and Jen knew she meant it in a literal and innocent way, but all she heard was a very sexually suggestive statement. Ugh, it might have been a line that the porn-agonist said in the damn movie.

"So what are we in the mood for tonight?" Judy asked as she poured a big old glass of red wine for Jen and another for herself. She scooched up on the bed and stared at Jen expectedly. Jen looked back at her for a moment weighing her options.

She had googled a whole repertoire of sexy movies they could watch together, or say 'fuck it' and just re-watch the one they had watched last night. Neither of them could stop thinking about it. Then Jen felt like she needed to step back from this path of thought because it was getting hotter and heat leads to fire... fire leads to hell. Fuck.

"Uh, Disney+ - the movie with the teenage elf brothers who lose their dad."

" _That's_ what you want to watch tonight?" Judy pursed her lips and scrutinized Jen's face as she nodded wide-eyed.

" _yea-yes. rave reviews. Killer soundtrack, Chris Pratt. Dead dad, animated, not sexual,_ " Jen stumbled and stuttered until she had hopefully convinced Judy she really wanted to watch it.

"I'm just surprised, won't it make you cry, or bring up feelings about _Ted_?" Judy leaned over and put a hand on Jen's shoulder while Jen swigged her wine.

"Exactly," Jen nodded again resolute in her decision, and tucked in her chin. "Let's queue it up and get me some tiramisu."

If anything would kill her lady boner it had to be the antithesis to "the movie" _(ahem Judy)_ and bringing up memories of her dead husband would surely wilt her flower.

**1 hour 25 minutes 37 seconds later:**

_"...I never had a dad, but I always had you."_

Jen was crying; Judy was right there along with her. Both women were clinging to one another and leaning over a shared platter of almost eviscerated lady fingers, coffee and cream that used to be tiramisu and shoveling forkfuls of it into their mouths as they sobbed.

"Do you think our sons will be as loving as Barley and Ian in the movie to each other?" Jen asked through mouthfuls of dessert and tears.

"Aww, _our_ sons?" Judy cried harder.

Sexy bullet dodged but the toll was emotional rollercoaster activated.


	3. A strong pelvic floor

**Sunday morning**

The reprieve was short lived because the next morning the thing that the two women were not to mention again and never speak of?

**It happened again.**

And this is how it went down:

Jen woke up late and found Judy's side of the bed empty and cold. It shouldn't have been a concern, but it troubled her more than she wanted to admit. She couldn't help her feelings damn it. She staved off the worry and took a quick shower, then ambled downstairs. The kitchen, (aka Judy's lair,) was also empty of the other woman's presence so Jen went to look for her in the guest house.

_God, get a grip she probably went to the fucking market or something. Do you have to keep her on a leash?_ Jen wrestled with her need to be near Judy or at least know where her "befri" was at all times.

She found her.

Judy was in leggings and a sports bra doing yoga in the yard by the pool in the morning sun. _Oh, fuck._

"Good morning! I didn't want to wake you, seemed like you needed your rest. You were mumbling something about sour grapes in your sleep."

"Are you getting in a morning workout?" Jen's voice was pinched and squeaky as she squinted toward the sun reflecting off the pool. It was unseasonably hot for some reason and the air was really dry. She needed to check the pollen count cause her throat felt like it was closing up.

"Yeah, you know after the beach yesterday I was looking around at all the young people and just felt... _uggo_. I don't know. Maybe time to get back into my daily practice," Judy shrugged and bent over into what Jen knew as the downward dog.

She had stopped going to yoga a few years ago when she couldn't take all of the other participants' sweat and farts anymore. Jen swore she would keep it up by watching YouTube vids on her own, but she'd fallen off and never gotten back into it.

Judy made her want to get back into it in a big way. She looked lithe and graceful as she saluted the sun, smiling and breathing like she was made for it.

"Judes, you're gorgeous, but Namaste-away," Jen laughed at her own bad joke and scooted inside to grab a cup of coffee. She returned to find Judy looking at her with _that_ expression. The one she couldn't say no to. _What does she want?_

"Do you want to do the cool down with me? Please Jen? A bit of stretching will be good for your back."

Jen faux rolled her eyes, but she found herself on all fours moments later. She was craning her neck and arching her back. Then Judy was suddenly behind her adjusting her hips. Motherfucker, her touch was like molten lava.

"That's right, spread your legs a little bit more to get in the proper position."

Jen kept to her breathing because otherwise... well, it seemed like everything Judy said these days was just taunting her with double entendre. When they were done with the very touchy "cool down" that served no purpose except to get Jen hot, (her back her worse and her center was aching for touch), Judy invited her into the guest house to do a more intimate version of yoga.

"Kegels?" Jen repeated after Judy introduced the idea.

"Yes, to strengthen the pelvic floor. Muscles that must be worked, Jen." Judy patted the day bed and Jen sat down following suit by sitting cross-legged and doing some pelvic squeezes.

"Hold it, hold, holllldddd..." Judy had her eyes closed as she guided them through. "And... release. ahhh. Again."

"Why are we doing this, Judy?" Jen had to ask. She saw no point. She could be doing any other number of leisure activities on a Sunday morning.

"You have to ask? You're the one whose had two kids. I do worry about how often you threaten to pee yourself when you start laughing or go into a sneezing fit, Jen." Judy chastised her as she took a break to sip her kombucha. "Also, kegels can really help give you more _powerful_ orgasms."

"Does this go back to the other night?" Jen asked immediately, and regretted her freaking wondering mind.

"What? No!" Judy glanced at her mischievously, "I thought we weren't talking about that?"

"We're not. We did not." Jen sliced her hands through the air in defiance.

"Then why are you bringing it up?' Judy raised an eyebrow and leaned forward on the bed, resting her chin on her fist.

Jen squirmed in discomfort. She didn't know what to say, of course she didn't mean to talk about that. Everything was normal. They were both _solo masturbators_. It was one time. Jen drew in a shaky breath, "you brought it up."

Judy laughed and dropped her jaw in mock shock. She lowered her voice to squeaky whisper, "do you want me to shut up now and maybe we could not talk about it some more—and _just do it_ again?"

A strange noise puffed it's way out of Jen's mouth. _Just do it - like Nike says._ It must be a high pollen count, because Judy certainly did not just suggest round two of the pussy play game. The movie wasn't even playing! Jen felt her face flush, maybe her heart was giving out, but the way her pulse was beating she could hear the blood rushing in her ears. In a daze she found herself nodding slowly.

This time it was way different.

It was the cold harsh light of morning, (even if it was unseasonably warm,) and there was no cover of darkness to hide under. Then here was Judy saying something about orgasms being so healthy, but Jen lost the thread because Judy promptly stuck her hand down her leggings and flipped onto her stomach to enthusiastically hump herself.

Jen was staring at her ass bobbing up and down on the bed in front of her.

She averted her eyes and bit her lip and then almost immediately started to watch again, cause she was a piece of shit pervert who apparently enjoyed this type of kinky stuff. (If it was Judy at least.)

"It's okay, you can watch," Judy turned her face towards Jen. "I'll admit it really fucking turns me on."

"Oh fuck." Jen groaned in agony. If her pussy was a cartoon character it would be obnoxiously grabbing her hand and begging for Jen to come and play with her right now.

Yep, that was pretty much all it took for Jen to openly gawk at Judy and slide on into home, unsurprised to find her pussy wet as fuck. She didn't 'go slow' or warm herself up, she slipped in one finger - no, not enough, two worked okay, but still she felt slightly unfulfilled as she fucked herself awkwardly watching Judy hump the ever living shit out of the day bed.

"Fuck, make noise."

"Huh?" Jen was breathing, that was a lot for her.

"Let me hear you, please, it's so sexy," Judy said. Well, Jen thought that's what she said. It was sort of garbled by her face down position.

"Um... okay... ooohh."

"That's fake!"

"Fucking shut up Judy, just let me fuck myself. I gotta concentrate."

"There's the Jen I know and love."

Then Jen's body betrayed her and made a wet slurping noise, not unlike a heavy boot stepping in a deep mud puddle, it was her damned eager pussy sucking in a third finger. Judy appeared to like the sound of that, as her hips sped up and she let Jen know she was close to cumming.

"Congratulations," Jen whimpered wishing she could get a little more leverage somehow, she was close too, but it was really hard to let go under the circumstance. Then she watched Judy orgasm and it was so fucking hot, it suddenly didn't matter that Jen's hand was cramping up or that she was at the wrong angle to bring her clit into play properly, (only so many fingers, and she couldn't use two hands, she wasn't an animal!) she felt her orgasm come on like she'd been zapped on an electric fence (high voltage, like the one that blasted the kid in Jurassic Park, not some weak ass cow fence.)

"Fuck, oh, my god. Fucking son of a bitch, motherfucker yes."

When Jen finished with her string of expletives and orgasm, she realized that Judy was blatantly staring at her with fucking heart eyes like her sweaty red, scrunched up face and weird contorted position was hot... or a freak show.

Maybe both.

Jen stammered, "I can't believe we did that... again."

"I can. Did you hit your g-spot?" Judy asked casually.

"Uh, no, I don't think so."

Judy tapped her shoulder playfully. She was excited and her face lit up like she was imagining a whole array of possibilities.

"We should have been doing this all along. We could touch each other next time. I wouldn't have a problem with that. I could probably go again right now."

Jen had to stop this. Yes, she wanted to touch Judy. _Badly._ So very badly. She wanted to see all of Judy and put her mouth all over Judy.

Just she wasn't sold on the idea of Judy seeing or touching her. Deep down she knew that would cause Judy to recoil in disgust just like Ted had and she'd lose all the trust they'd built. She'd lose everything.

She'd come close before and they'd managed to get over death (times 2). They'd been through some crazy shit, but Jen couldn't allow herself to believe that Judy would stick around for _her body._

Even though it was flawed and not perfect, it was still the best relationship she'd ever had. She loved Judy so much, but maybe this would be _the thing_ that would be the deal breaker. She couldn't risk it. Jen was too scared. It was obvious to Jen that it would mean more to her than it would to Judy. It was something about the casual attitude Judy had toward sex. Like Judy sat around and masturbated with her book club ladies after they discussed Michelle Obama's 'Becoming'. Nothing special, just another Tuesday afternoon.

Jen was guarded about her body and insecure about touch. She always had been. It was definitely stemming from her mother always being so sick and a lack of affection in her formative years. Ugh. Too deep.

She didn't let people in. Judy kicked her door in. She was just so open and confident. Jen didn't know if she was reading it right or wrong, but her heart was aching even thinking about Judy rejecting her.

She had to do it first.

Judy would bounce right back; Jen would never get over it.

She reached over to the nightstand and found her now cold mug of coffee to clutch and met Judy's excited eyes with a serious stare.

"No, Judy. We have to stop this. This was a mistake. It can't happen again, okay?"

"Oh, yeah," Judy sniffled and swallowed and shook her head. "I guess I got carried away. Stupid me. Blame it on the orgasmic endorphins, duh."

"No, Judy, you didn't. I..." Jen frowned, unable to find her gentle words, the ones she reserved solely for Judy and the boys. "I like the way things are now, you know? I don't want things to change. And I got carried away, that was _wrong_."

Judy nodded and excused herself to shower, but Jen could hear her muffled sobs over the din of the running water.

The kids returned later that day talking non-stop about their weekend adventures, which was pronounced by the definite silence that hung over Jen and Judy. Judy seemed to go through the motions. She prepared dinner and was excited to see the kids. She told them she missed them and responded appropriately to their stories, but it was clear her mind was elsewhere.

It wasn't long after dinner was cleared and Henry was in bed, that Judy disappeared to the guest house for the night so there was no more discussion about orgasms or kegels. Certainly, no discussion about how Jen had caught some serious feelings and her battered fucking heart couldn't take another rejection. A _sexual_ rejection especially.

The matter was closed. Just like Jen's legs: _closed for business._

Judy got over being standoffish and Jen had a very busy week at work with brokerage and due diligence for the Huntington Beach property. It was a quick close and all cash which required a lot of attention to assure that all the 'I's were dotted and "T"s were crossed so everything didn't fall through. She also knew the life of a realtor was chasing the next commission and her pipeline was looking a little thin so she was out marketing and working on getting new listings.

If Jen drank a little more than normal after dinner (or before) and worked out a bit harder in the mornings to keep her mind off things, it was totally just work-related and had nothing to do with Judy or the hot as fire sight of her yoga pant clad ass grinding merrily away...

Friday finally rolled around. Charlie was off with his friends—skate park until dark and then video game tourney until dawn— and Henry had grabbed his backpack, kissed his mom goodbye and headed out to Shandy's for the night. Jen was relieved. She could finally relax, kick back with Judy and watch a movie that was something in between Disney and Porn.

Except there was a major imbalance in the force.

When Jen located Judy in the guesthouse she was dressed up like she was heading out.

"What's up?"

"I'm heading out."


	4. Hen Jarding

"I can get dressed, I didn't know we had plans."

"Uh, we don't, Jen. I have a date."

Jen raised her eyebrows and wanted to whine or scream. She wanted to shove Judy right in the chest in her pretty little camel-colored blazer and royal purple dress. She did look dazzling. A date, who? What? Why? Where? How? The fuck?

Jen took a breath, and tried not to let her hurt feelings show on her face, "Oh, of course. Sorry. Um.. where you headed?"

Smooth Jen, fucking smooth. Don't be overprotective. S _he's fucking 41 and fully capable of making her own decisions unrelated to you, she's not Charlie, don't spring out a roll of condoms and throw them at her in a guilt trip. "I'll give her a fucking lecture about warts."_

"She's Edna's daughter from Beach Haven. I don't know...She was looking for pudding in the supply closet and I was in there... eating it. We got to talking, I gave her my number."

"Wait Edna Jarding?" What's this woman's name?"

"Henrietta. She seems really sweet."

Jen could not believe what she was hearing. Pieces of an ugly jagged puzzle were lining up.

"Judy, no. You cannot go out with her. I sold her a house two years ago. She's a nightmare. Christopher called her my bizzaro twin. She's my doppelganger. _Hen Jarding. Jen Harding._ She's literally the gay version of me."

"That;s not true. I'm certain that you wear more flannel..."

Jen felt a boiling rage seething just beneath the surface. She didn't need to see a picture. Steve and Ben weren't "semi-identical" - Jen and Hen were semi-identical, they could have come from the same yolk, sperm whatever. Jen had a thought: she should have pinned all of her crimes on that bitch Henrietta Jarding. Why hadn't she realized that earlier? It would have been perfect.

"So? I like her, and you and me," Judy gestured between them angrily. "We need to talk about boundaries."

"Do we?" Jen scoffed as her anger came to the surface. "Says the woman who offered to help me find my _g-spot_ less than a week ago!"

"We're not having this conversation. Jen, just let me go. You said you were done with dating and all of that... but you know that I'm not, and if I'm not getting it _here,_ I'm gonna go out and find love," Judy threw her bag over her shoulder and moved to side-step Jen in defiance.

"With her? the dyke-asaurus?" Jen shook her head and got in Judy's face. "You are not going to love her. She's crass and mean, every time we drove to a house showing we had to listen to _country music_. She doesn't deserve you, Judy!"

Judy's eyes widened and she opened her mouth like she really wanted to say something. Jen braced herself for Judy to just tear into her. To really cut her down and tell her off, but Judy clamped up and stormed out.

Jen drank alone. She ended up watching "the movie" again by herself. God, the scene where the main lady gets pulled over for speeding, and when the cop frisks her she spreads her legs and bends her over the hood of the car.

Then he bunches her skirt up around her waist and fucks her right there out in the open on the side of the public freeway. Jen only wished her life was half as exciting as that. _License and registration, yes, sir._

Not that she was waiting up, but she most definitely was. Watching out the window like a crazed hawk for Judy's car to pull up. She left at 7pm and got home at 10:30pm. With drive time... Jen was doing some nutso calculations on how much time Judy had actually spent with this other woman, who looked just like Jen, but one key difference. Hen had her own boobs. _Ugh. Fucking natural-boobed bitch. She had a nice house too._

Being way too drunk for any sort of confrontation Jen bit her tongue and didn't immediately attack Judy. She would bide her time and wait until morning. She spent the night laying in bed, half-dreaming about "the movie" and half seething in rage and fear that Judy was going to move in with Hen and leave her and the boys.

The next morning Jen heard Judy in the kitchen, and tried to be nonchalant as she secretly raced down the stairs. _Casual, cool, coffee. Eat, pray, love. Eat my pussy, Hen Jarding._

"Hey Judy," Jen licked her lips. "I was wondering since Henrietta has that huge house why did she dump her mother in assisted living, anyway?"

"Jen," Judy's tone was a warning.

"You're right, I'm sorry," Jen felt guilty for her opening line, wincing at how foolish and immature she was acting. It was just something about this whole fucking scenario was driving her nuts. She got Judy time on the weekends and she did not feel like sharing.

"It's not gonna be anything."

"Oh."

"Did you hear anything I said to you last night before I left?" Judy asked in a meek tone, looking over the rim of her coffee cup.

"Just that you were going on a date with my identical nemesis."

"You're much prettier than her."

Jen frowned. Judy's tone was off. "Did something happen last night?"

"No, I wanted it to, but I just couldn't because..." Judy bit her lip. "Jen..."

"What is it?"

"Were you jealous that I was going out on a date like in general or was it because I wasn't here with you? Or because it was that woman you don't like? Because truly if I couldn't be friends with or date everyone who you don't like that would really narrow down the pool..." Judy looked up and she looked very worried. It was scary. "Was it something else? Be honest."

Jen shrugged and shifted and didn't know what to say. Her head started pounding with a raging headache like her mind was blowing.

"Jen, say something?" Judy continued. She sat down at the kitchen counter looking absolutely forlorn and Jen had no idea how to comfort her or what to say. She felt like crying because she was jealous. She wanted Judy so badly, she must know that. She was a precious angel that she must protect at all costs.

"Look Jen, I couldn't do anything with Hen because she wasn't you. I wasn't attracted to her even though she really does look just like you, its fucking weird-but I missed you the whole time I was with her and I just wish you could see me like that. I know I can't ask that of you, but I thought we were getting close with the... you know. Then it kind of back pedaled, and that was majorly disappointing."

"Judy, I'm an asshole." Jen covered her face and fell into a chair at the kitchen table. She shrank in her seat and couldn't stop her bottom lip from wobbling and then came the fucking tears. She was such a blubbering idiot.

Judy quickly crossed over to her and sat down, placing a hand on her thigh. "You're not...sometimes, you're an asshole, but just tell me what you're feeling so I'm not so confused."

Jen mustered her courage. She owed Judy an explanation so she could understand and then she'd agree that Jen was right.

"Because if I let you _touch me_ , you'll see what Ted saw and you'll look at me like that. You'll fucking leave and go find Henrietta or a goddamn Bambi and I'll feel like I did last night. Lonely, empty, in fucking despair."

"Give me a little bit of credit, and trust. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not Ted," Judy's mouth widened and her eyes crinkled in hurt. "I'd be with you every night if you let me. How much clearer can it be that I want you?"

"You don't want me," Jen sobbed and looked away. She couldn't meet Judy's eyes.

"Let me show you how much I do, please." Judy whispered and leaned closer, her voice cracking as she spoke. "Come on, don't break my heart. Haven't we suffered enough yet? Lonely and in despair? I don't ever want you to feel that way. I love you so much."

"I love you too." Jen couldn't help but pull her in for a hug. It felt possessive and close, just what they both needed. She had to get over her stupid fears give Judy a chance to love her and love her back. Could she put her body and heart on the line again? It felt like she had picked a scab raw and open, and poured pure alcohol on the exposed flesh.

"Can we take it slow, have a good day?" Jen murmured into Judy's hair. "You want to go out for brunch?"

"Ooh, do you want to smoke a little pot and go to the all-you-can-eat crab legs and French toast place?" Judy perked up. "I can eat so much more when I'm high."

Jen rocked Judy back and forth, "Judes, do you even have to ask?"


	5. Life Lessons from Pastor Wayne

**Saturday night**

Curled up under a blanket and solidly cuddled, Jen had not let Judy out of her physical proximity all day and Judy was seemingly just fine with that. She was practically purring in Jen's lap as she petted her hair and they both spaced out in thought in front of the dancing fire flames of the outdoor living room.

"Today was nice. I ate a lot of crab legs," Judy commented twisting with a stretch to smile at Jen.

"You really packed them away. I was impressed," Jen agreed as she raised an eyebrow. "You're really pretty even when you're squirting me with butter and crab juice from across the table."

"It was worth it. Gets messy sometimes," Judy yawned and rubbed her eyes as sleep began to overtake her.

Jen was worried they were both going to fall asleep outside and it was going to suck to have to wake up and drag themselves upstairs to bed so she prodded her companion gently.

"Up, up I'm not gonna carry you."

In addition to packing their stomachs with shellfish and carbs the day had also carried a lot of emotion. Jen was still feeling uneasy about everything she had said, and had no idea where to go from where they were in their relationship. Judy was clearly waiting to take cues from Jen, which was sweet, but terrifying—that summed Judy pretty well actually.

As Jen was just about to fall asleep with Judy curled up against her side, Judy poked her ribs and woke her up.

"What's wrong, hon?" Jen blinked and cleared her throat as she was jostled from sleep. Her mind was already going to the Ted's golf club just under the bed; she was ready to do a tuck and roll to grab it and go ham on an intruder.

After scanning the room and seeing that they were still alone she felt Judy soothing her, Jen realized Judy just wanted to say something.

"I um... can't sleep, can you tell me... is it—do you think I'm unattractive? Are you worried you're not going to be able to satisfy me sexually? If you think it's not going to be as good as "that movie" I promise that while very convincing acting for a movie nothing is going to be as explosive as that, but I think that—."

"Judy? What are you talking about?" Jen shook the last remnants of sleep from her head and sat up to face her friend. "I'm not worried about you, God, no. It's me...I'm not...good enough."

"What?" Shut up, Jen. I got off in like three minutes just thinking about you touching yourself. Honestly, I think about you like that more often than I'd care to admit."

Jen thought Judy was blushing even in the dark of the room. Her mouth went dry and her heart rate was speeding up as unbidden images started to flicker in her mind again. Leave it to Judy to get her worked up with barely two sentences.

"Sex is...it's going to mean something different to you than it is for me. I worry about that."

"What are you saying? That I'm not in this for the long haul? We co-own this house, we co-parent your kids. We've buried a _body_ together. You think that I'm gonna bail on you because your fingernails are too long on the first go?" Judy sounded incredulous and Jen did not like it. There was more to it, but she couldn't articulate it. Judy had run off on a date the second Jen pulled back in fear. How could she trust her with something as sensitive as _this_?

"Not the first time, but you'll get bored of me, or repulsed... it's bound to happen. You'll want someone else and I'll be devastated."

"Jen..." Judy's voice shook. "You are all I want."

Jen didn't believe her, but she wanted to. She turned over in bed, and wished that she could let down her guard and just trust Judy. No, she wished she could be more _like Judy_ and believe in magical energies and crystals and the _fucking g-spot._

"You too, Judy. Can we talk more tomorrow?" Jen asked softly. She turned back around and caught Judy's gaze. The other woman nodded, and Jen took her hand.

"I keep my fingernails very short by the way."

**Sunday Morning**

Jen had laid awake most of the night once again, wondering and disbelieving and then hoping that Judy really did want her and wanted to be with her... _like that._ Like in "the movie."

Here she had Judy— big-hearted, cooking-oriented and free-loving— Judy. Jen knew that Judy didn't intentionally lie about things, and she trusted her with so many secrets already, it was just that she also knew that well, sometimes Judy did lie. Sometimes Judy did things just to make others feel good so they'd feel good feelings toward Judy.

Jen had come up with a whole list of pros and cons to diving exploring a more double-sided (ugh, that sounded way wrong— like that scene from _Requiem for a Dream_ wrong ) sexual relationship with Judy, but something was holding her back.

Unable to sleep any longer, Jen got up early and padded down to the kitchen to caffeinate herself and overthink herself into oblivion. She obviously couldn't make clear decisions with the woman in question curled around her body snoring so softly, fucking adorable. Ugh, she is making me sick. Fuck me.

Downstairs Jen found Judy's phone laying on the counter and it had been blowing up. Jen squinted at it and saw a preview messages from contact "Henrietta (Not Jen)".

_"Had a great time, sorry you had to leave early."_

Jen growled.

She sipped her coffee hunched over at the kitchen island with one hand splayed out on the counter for support. It was like this she reasoned as she thought back to one of Pastor Wayne's life lessons. Jen and Wayne had been driving to the Steve Vigil together and were stuck in traffic when a homeless drunken bum came up to their car window and asked for money.

Pastor Wayne gave him a twenty dollar bill and blessed him. Jen had been incredulous and scolded Wayne for enabling the bum to buy more booze, it wasn't like the dude was going to spend the money toward his Harvard tuition.

Wayne had shrugged and said that once the money had left his hands it was not in his control anymore. It was up to the man to do with it what he wished. He had free will and he had a choice to get something to eat or buy alcohol, but Wayne didn't make that choice. He could only pray that the man would do what was best for his own interests.

To apply that to Jen's current predicament she had come to realize that she either had to swoop in and fight for all of Judy's love or take a big step back and let the other woman fuck her way up and down all of Laguna Beach if she wanted. She couldn't act so controlling and possessive of her time and make decisions for her, and if Judy wanted Hen Jarding, then Jen would have to accept that, or act on the alternative and confess her undying love for Judy and hope for the best.

The way things were going were not going to be sustainable, not when Jen felt like stabby when Judy went on one date. Not when Judy was crying and torn thinking Jen was intentionally being withholding and found her unattractive. God, this was getting to be messy.


	6. Hen Jarding Redux

The promise of _can we talk about this tomorrow?_ Stretched out into the next week, not to say Jen was a chickenshit, she was just busy, or so she tried to tell herself.

She just needed more time, and truthfully she hadn't had the proper opportunity to drink about her feelings. Maybe she could sit on the beach, smoke some pot and really get her shit together. The problem was Judy was her go to person to talk to about major life decisions and when said major life decisions involved her go to person, well, that's where the trouble started.

All Jen knew was she had to act fast one way or the other. It was what she told her potential home buyers because someone else was going to sweep in and fall in love with that fire place and water feature and then they'd never find another house like _Judy._ Oh fuck. She kept doing that. Her head was a mess.

It was Tuesday night (Judy's homemade carnitas and Spanish rice night) as the family was getting far too excited for, when the doorbell rang during dinner. Jen narrowed her eyes, and wiped her mouth with a napkin. She looked over to her boys in silent expectation, who met her with a shrug. Judy shook her head and pushed her chair back, tossing her napkin on the table. Jen got up automatically and they both made their way to the door to answer it together as was their custom.

An unannounced visitor during dinner usually didn't fair well for Jen and she immediately felt apprehensive as Judy clung to her side. She swung the door open and frowned immediately. Hen Jarding stood on her doorstep holding a huge basket and smiling at Judy. Jen's frown deepened into a grimace when she noticed Judy smiling back.

"Jen! Judy! Hey, so I um... just wanted to stop by and say hi. Judy, you haven't returned my messages so I wanted to check and see if you were okay," Hen shuffled her feet nervously and held out the basket. "Jen, this is for you."

"Hey, Hen, do you want to come in for a minute?" Judy gestured toward the living room.

"What is this?" Jen deadpanned as she reluctantly took the heavy basket from Hen's outstretched hands. "And actually, it really isn't a great time. We are in the middle of dinner."

"Oh, I don't want to impose," Hen swallowed what appeared to be an uncomfortable lump that had formed in her throat. Jen swallowed the steaming rage that was threatening to boil over. She had maybe not so kindly deleted Hen's messages to Judy in one of her not finest moves. Not out of jealousy, by from a place of protection.

This woman standing at her door was trouble and Jen just wanted to keep Judy away from her. Jen and Hen bore such a striking resemblance, it was freakish and they both happened to be wearing almost the same black power suit with a cranberry blouse.

Judy looked like she was in heaven, and Jen could only imagine what she was thinking at the moment.

"I could just make you up a quick plate to go. We've got tons of Tupperware," Judy shuffled quickly back to the kitchen, leaving Jen holding the basket (literally and figuratively) staring at Hen.

"Uh, so yeah, how are you? I guess you better come inside, and tell me why you're giving me this," Jen couldn't hide the disdain in her voice even though she was trying to sound nice.

"First of all, I'm so sorry about Ted. And I've been remiss. I should have done this months ago, but people—our mutual friends, and some strangers to me— seem to have thought that Ted was my husband so cards and casseroles were misdirected. I ate the good stuff, sorry about that. There's just a bunch of containers and notes in that basket." Hen had pushed her way into the hall and was distracted, apparently looking for signs of Judy to reappear.

"You have held onto this for months?" Jen felt incredulous. What a bitch. All those people probably thought she was a monster for not acknowledging their sympathy cards and food. "And you ate the food they made for me and my kids?"

"Yeah, but most of it sucked... and went down the garbage disposal, so I really did you a solid if you think about it." Hen laughed nervously. "So you live with Judy?"

"I assume you knew that," Jen frowned and moved to put the basket out of sight in the hallway closet. She couldn't go through a new/old batch of sympathy cards now. This was such an obvious ploy to come see Judy and make a move. Still, if these well-wishers were so worried and wanted to offer condolences and they couldn't even tell the two women apart, were they really Jen's friends?

"Oh, hey mom, is it okay if we go play video games? We finished eating," Jen was still in the closet making room when she heard Henry addressing Hen as "mom" even he thought she was her!

"Uh, yeah... go for it." Hen said.

She didn't even correct him. Some nerve of this bitch to come after Judy and now she was cavalier about giving her kids permission to play video games. What if Jen wanted them to do their homework? She didn't, but still.

"Okay, so it's still hot, but here's some of my homemade Carnitas and rice. Fresh salsa... I made it from the tomatoes I grow in the garden," Judy said and it sounded like flirting to Jen. she dropped the basket task and dashed back to the hallway.

"Wow, this looks simply delicious," Hen's eyes never left Judy's chest. Jen was furious and wanted this Hosebeast out of her house immediately.

"Yeah, it is," Jen shoved her body physically between Judy and Hen and tried to give her the not so subtle hint to get the fuck out now without actually saying the words, though they were on the tip of her tongue.

"Uh, Judy, walk me out?" Hen threw a glare at Jen who matched it for a full 15 seconds and then watched in horror as Hen grabbed Judy's hand and dragged her out the door. Judy looked wide eyed with wonder or panic. Jen couldn't tell. She stood in the hallway frozen in anger and waiting for Judy to return sans Hen.

Jen stood there for what felt like an eternity. What was Judy doing? Making out with her? She resisted the urge to peer out the blinds. Instead she felt her blood pressure rising and paced around a bit, then eventually went into the kitchen and poured herself a large glass of wine.

Judy had thoughtfully put her food in the microwave to keep it warm, so she pulled it out and picked at it with a fork. But Jen couldn't enjoy the _delicious_ slow cooked carnitas anymore, not since Judy had offered Hen a to go portion of her _love_.

Two-thirds of the glass of wine gone, Jen finally heard the front door close and a car driving off. Then Judy's familiar clicking wedges stomping into the kitchen.

"Jen! We need to talk now. Not tomorrow, now. Upstairs!" Judy wasn't yelling, but she looked pissed. "Please." She added. "Bring me a glass of that."

Jen was fairly certain Judy had solved the mystery of the disappeared messages from Hen Jarding. It was time for Jen to face her fears once and for all. She poured out the rest of the bottle divided into two glasses and grabbed another full one to balance under her arm before heading upstairs.

Judy was looking out the window, just staring. "Jen do you anything about messages that Hen sent to me?"

"Judy, I can explain," Jen sat down on the bed and sighed.

"Yes, please do, because we said no more lies or secrets and this seems like a-a violation of trust," Judy stammered. Jen handed over a glass of wine, and watched half impressed as Judy took a large gulp and wiped her chin.

"Do you want to sit down?"

"No,"

"Okay."

"Did you get in my phone?"

"Yes, and I deleted a few messages from Hen."

Judy nodded with pursed lips barely controlling her anger, "Thank you for admitting that."

"You can be pissed at me, Judy. Fuck. I'm sorry." Jen felt tears stinging at her eyes. She hated making Judy so upset, and for such stupid selfish reasons if she was honest.

"Why did you do it?" Judy's anger finally deflated and she lowered herself down on the bed next to Jen in a huff.

"I don't want you to go out with her. She's not a good person," Jen said. This was true, but was only half the sentence she actually wanted to say.

Judy closed her eyes and let her head rest on Jen's shoulder, "sometimes I feel like you're fighting for me, but against me being happy."

"What? Of course I want you to be happy, Judy. That's all I want for you." Jen lifted Judy's chin and tipped her face toward her to look her in the eyes.

"Then don't delete messages from someone I'm forming a connection with. No matter if you like them or not. It's not your business, it's mine. We've talked about this. You know what I need from you, and if you're not able..."

Jen closed her eyes and shut Judy up with a kiss on the lips. It apparently took Judy by complete surprise because she froze for a moment and Jen felt like the world's biggest asshole, but neither woman pulled away. Then slowly she felt Judy relax and kiss her back.

When Judy did pull back she breathed, "Okay, that's a start."

Jen still worried she wasn't going to be able to live up to the promise that the kiss held, or what Judy wanted it to mean.

**Author's Note:**

> The film that's frequently referenced doesn't exist...at least that I know of ;)   
> Also, I am inclined to entertain Jen/Judy prompts if anyone wants to leave one in the comments or message? (No plot outline for 100k word AU fic that you want me to write, sorry) just something simple and gay. If you're reading this you know my style. Thanks! ~Tart


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